I had an impulse to write a post describing, analyzing and drawing some conclusion about some of the 'paranormal' events that we and I have had happen.
For me one of the most significant events was the dream I had of a friend falling that happened at the same time that she had a severe falling accident. The gist of the dream was that she fell and hurt herself, but then there was some confusion because I could see that there was also another woman who had fallen. After I e-mailed her about the dream she reported to me that she had had a sever falling accident and had called out for me as she fell.
To my rational mind this proves beyond reasonable doubt that there is a connection between some of us that is not constricted by distance. It's just beyond conceivable that I would have such a specific dream about her (the only one I can remember having, as this dream also stayed with me after I had woken up). This completely contradicts the Newtonian idea of a restricted and mechanistic universe. How can such a transfer of information happen? This shattered my (mainly unconscious) view of a mechanistic universe, and it would be interesting to know what the factors are that allows this transfer of information. I've never had anything similar happen before or after, so my conclusion is that it was a combination of our special connection and the intensity of the event, a nearly fatal accident.
Other events are the times when a spirit (sometimes either Lina or something acting like or pretending to be Lina) has taken over control of my body. I'll describe one of the more potent experiences.
I was in my home town and was standing on the spot where she died, the corner of the street just below our 5:th floor balcony where she jumped/fell to her death, and I was praying. She/it then took over my body and started moving it around. First it (my body) walked over to a store where it entered and went up and looked at itself in a mirror, then it made a sharp 180 turn and looked at a sign on the opposite wall that said ”I love you” and then back to the mirror. After that it proceeded into the children section of this store where it bent down and looked through a gap in the shelves. Through this gap I could see the back of a mug that was positioned on the other side and which had the text ”If you don't believe in angels...”. Then it left the store and went outside.
When outside the body walked around the corner and looked at a poster that said ”Accept” and then at another sign that said ”Lazarus” (the one who Jesus resurrected in the bible). After that the body started walking towards my mothers apartment where I was staying, and I thought the event was over. But a few blocks later it suddenly crossed the street and went over to small poster on the wall. The poster read ”If you want to connect with departed relatives...” and was a flier from a local medium that I had never heard of. I took down the number and after that the first chapter of the event seemed to be over.
A day or two later I got hold of the medium and went to see her. We had a conversation in which she revealed a few things to me. The first was that as I entered the room she saw what she described as huge angelic wings protruding from my back, something she had only seen on a person once before in her life (she was middle aged woman who had been born with the gift). As I was sitting opposite her in our session (or whatever you want to call it) she reported seeing a huge angel standing behind me trying to access me, and I could feel a strong energy entering the back of my head.
She said something along the line of how she was in contact with the archangel Michael and Raphael with me, and this was the first time I ever heard the name Raphael. I felt a connection there as it was an important name being revealed to me. Throughout my awakening experience I've had connection with a spirit that I feel resides in my body that up until then had taken the shape of snakes. The first time an insanely powerful but gentle black snake, large and strong as a mountain and in the color of such a deep green that it resembled black. At other times like a collective of mainly green snakes moving inside my body and healing it as well as providing energy. I had come to call this energy ”Crazy Snake” as it has such a loving and intense energy, but also a completely insane love an affection for life itself and me. Basically it IS me in a way, I assume. After this event it felt it was right to call it Raphael, though it doesn't mind the name Crazy Snake either.
As I was about to leave she said that when making connection with the angels it is common for people to find a white feather somewhere. About half an hour or an hour later I was exiting the city library and speaking on the cell phone. As I walked out my left hand went out of my pocked and stretched out palm up. As I looked up a could see a small white feather falling down towards me and I stopped. As I stood there it gently fell down through the air and gently landed in my outstretched palm. As I was talking to a friend at the time I reported this happening, which also made sure I wouldn't forget or question the event (my mind always tries to find rationalistic explanations that refutes the existence of such things as angels).
There has been several similar events, under the influence of mushrooms usually but not always, where my body has basically been walking around and doing things that would be impossible unless something was acting inside it that has more information than my limited body/mind system has regarding my surroundings. It will walk into places and pick up things that are very meaningful and find signs around corners etc. that it would be impossible for me to know was there.
This seems to prove that there are some sort of external intelligences that both have access to more information, but also are trying to show me things and prove their existence to me. However, I can't be 100% sure that it is Lina acting as it could also be some other entity just pretending to be her (though that is an unnecessarily paranoid view).
Then there is the empathy which seems to allow me to feel what other people are feeling energetically in their body. This is very thoroughly proven since I have been experimenting with it a lot. A funny detail is that I seem to feel a mirrored image of the other person. For example when I've felt other peoples leg pain, if they experience it in their right leg, I experience it in my left leg. A small and curious detail.
This and a lot of other evidence that cannot be explained away as the 'subconscious' or 'hallucinations' (whatever those are supposed to be if) is enough evidence that the rationalistic world view that I used to subscribe to has to be discarded. The old assumptions and behavioral patterns has to be, and are being, dissolved. Unfortunately it is not for me an option to simply switch to a mythology based on other peoples experiences (ie: religions), since there is no way for me to know they are true if they are not verifiable through my own experience. Buddhism is the one that has come closest since I have myself been able to verify many of their assumptions through meditation.
For me it is also of great importance that my original awakening and mystical experience happened before the death of my soul mate, since I would otherwise have simply dismissed it as a defense mechanism trying to make sense of a deeply traumatic event. But to be honest, I really have to dismiss that whole event entirely to NOT believe that we are living in a magical, mystical and ultimately intelligent universe. Hopefully this summary is enough to dispel most, if not all, of the doubt that has been plaguing me (and perhaps you). At the very least it felt good to put some of these happenings into print and get a black and white confirmation that I was wrong, so so wrong about the way life, the universe and everything works.